Being You
by cookiemonster01
Summary: Repost of 'After and Before' edited especially for my readers. Mostly just DocRose fluff.


_A/N: I have decided to bow down to popular reader opinion and re-post this without the angst-y bit. Better? Let me know. If you didn't read the other one don't worry, this one is (hopefully) better but if any of you were particularly fond of the original I'd be happy to e-mail you a copy. _

_Legally stuff: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters etc. I'm just borrowing them for a bit. _

* * *

The Doctor crept into Rose's dark bedroom and paused. He could see in the bed a curving lump that he supposed to be Rose and started to have second thoughts. He quickly dismissed them. This was not a terrible idea. It wasn't. Really! 

"Rose." He called her. No answer. He crept across the dark room. "Rose, are you awake?" The Doctor whispered.

"Mm?"

"I'm cold."

"Get another blanket."

"There aren't any."

"You're not getting mine!"

"Uh, well…I was rather hoping we might share."

"OK."

"OK?"

"Shut up and get into bed."

The Doctor threw his blankets over the bed and climbed in in his boxers and t-shirt. The bed was narrower than he realised and for a moment he didn't know what to do. Was there any sort of etiquette that guys were supposed to stick to when sleeping in the same (narrow) bed with a woman when you were cold? He was lost in his thoughts when a moment later he felt a body against his and realised Rose had shuffled towards him in the bed, pressing her back against his front.

"I'm warmer than you." She explained. "God, you're cold!"

The Doctor swallowed nervously.

"Give it a rest Doctor, I'm not going to bite." Rose chastised. He tried to relax, and spooned in behind Rose, her warm body heating up his frozen limbs. "Sleep, Doctor." She said. "We'll talk in the morning."

Some time later, and they were both still lying there, wide awake. Rose rubbed her feet against The Doctor's.

"What are you doing, Rose?"

"You've got cold feet."

"Yes."

"I'm trying to warm them up."

"You're playing footsie."

"I'm bored."

"Well I'm ticklish so stop it."

Rose tried turning her head.

"I didn't know that."

"That's because I've never told you. There's just me to run this entire universe now and it's bad enough that everyone seems to know how I feel about you." He snuggled a little bit closer. "I don't think it would help if they knew I was ticklish too. It's still used as torture on some planets. Not that I think you'd ever tell anyone."

"What do you mean 'how I feel about you'?"

"Oh, that. Well… you know."

"I do?"

"Sure."

"Lets say that I don't."

"I'd rather not."

"But lets say it anyway. Would you tell me?"

"Uh… well, the thing is Rose, I'm not really any good at that stuff."

"I've noticed!"

"Oi!"

"Seriously."

The Doctor was silent for a while. Eventually he said, "I might do this." And he shifted one hand to place his fingers on the side of her face. Rose jumped in shock. She twisted violently in his arms, pinning The Doctor to the mattress. The Doctor had connected his mind to hers, letting her feel how he felt about her. He hadn't expected to be pinned to the mattress by his Rose, but he understood her shock and lay there peaceably staring up at her face.

"_That_is how you feel about me."

The Doctor gulped. "Yes." He tried to ignore the feeling of her breasts pressing into his chest.

"And you weren't ever going to tell me?!"

"Rose…"

She stared into his eyes, pinning his body to the mattress with her torso to stop him escaping. She had to understand.

"You knew." He whispered desperately. "You have to have known."

Rose gazed down at him, half furious but unable to hate him. The worst thing about it was that she _had_ known, they had both known. She couldn't hate him for not putting his feelings into words, neither of them had. Those eyes, it was all in his eyes. All the pain and sorrow he had ever felt, the despair, the guilt, the wretched self-hatred for the ones he couldn't save… and then her. There, in his soul, a part of him. She could never heal those wounds, the deep scars of his emotional heart; she could never heal those wounds because that was the place he loved her from. The loneliness that echoed in eternity cried out her name. Rose.

"Back there, on that last planet, by the black hole – I thought I'd lost you. I thought you'd never return." Rose muttered, her eyes boring into his.

"I thought that too, and I wanted to tell you but… I realised you were right here, Rose." He put a hand on one heart. "Then, now, ever since I met you. Right here." He thumped his chest. "I take you with me everywhere. Always. In my mind, in my hearts… I'll never let you go. Not ever."

And then she was kissing him. Softly, hungrily, passionately so that The Doctor groaned and sank a little further into the mattress.

"Like that, do you?"

The Doctor opened his mouth but no words came out.

"And you never made a move on me?"

"I would never take advantage of you like that, Rose. You're my companion. Now sleep! I'll re-adjust the heat settings in the morning."

Rose stared blankly at The Doctor for a few moments before seemingly making up her mind. He didn't seem to mind the kissing thing but he didn't seem overly comfortable with it either so she lay down as before, spooning in front of him. This time The Doctor was uniquely conscious of how little they were each wearing. He snuggled against her. He couldn't help it. He was drawn to her. He sketched symbols from his home world on her stomach and played with the hair at her neck.

"I'd forgotten how beautiful women were."

"Is that a compliment?"

He shuffled closer and kissed her just above the shoulder bone, then again at the nape of her neck, making her shiver.

"Your hands are cold." Rose whispered. "But they make me feel beautiful."

"You, my Rose, put the stars to shame." Rose felt in her mind, a flash of love and desire. He winced. He hadn't meant for that to happen, but the mental connection, once opened, was proving difficult to close.

"Rose?" The Doctor asked, concerned.

The Doctor's companion was quiet, but he was sure that if he could have seen her face she would be smiling, and a feeling of contentment washed over him, lulling him into a peaceable sleep.

* * *

"Morning." The Doctor whispered in Rose's ear. He drew back slightly to look at her face. Rose snuggled back into his shoulder. It was that wonderful feeling of waking up and knowing that you didn't have to do anything or go anywhere. You could just enjoy the moment and considering she'd just awoken in The Doctor's arms, this moment definitely counted as one to be enjoyed. Rose sighed softly. She felt the finger's of The Doctor's hand caress the skin of her arm where he hugged her to him. "I like this." He whispered. Rose closed her eyes. 

"What?"

"_This_. Just lying here, with you." He kissed the top of her head.

"Mmm." Rose agreed and sighed softly. The Doctor looked down at her and brushed a few hairs from her eyes. He looked at her intently and smiled to himself. He had forgotten what it felt like to have the woman you love in your arms, to have someone trust you so much they would allow you to witness them at their most vulnerable, allow you to share such an innocent (and yet intimate) moment as this. Maybe it was different with humans. Maybe they didn't have so many memories, hadn't suffered so many betrayals. – _committed_ so many betrayals. He had forgotten and perhaps it was just as well. Now he got to learn all over again. At that moment Rose looked up at him with a curious look on her face that made him feel rather nervous.

"You only need a couple of hours sleep and it was the middle of the night when you came in so why are you still here?"

"I told you, I like it here." The Doctor stated indignantly. Rose shifted out of his arms and sat up slightly.

"Have you just stayed here all night watching me sleep?"

"No. Well… yes, pretty much."

"That's creepy."

"What's creepy about watching you sleep? I was watching over you. Making sure you were safe."

"Yeah, perving more like!"

"Was not!"

Rose's face broke into a grin. "You are so gullible."

The Doctor's face started to turn an interesting shade of pink. "Initially." He mumbled to himself.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing important." The Doctor stretched an arm and folded it behind his head, cradling the back of his head in his palm while he stared at the ceiling. "By the way, did you know that you talk in your sleep?"

"I do not."

"You do so."

"What did I say then?"

"Well, nothing important."

Rose leaned her head on her hand, looking down at the Doctor. Relaxed, he gazed up at her, arm stretched behind his head like he was sprawled under a tree in some old spaghetti western. His face was blank. He seemed, to all intents and purposes, content.

"What? I haven't turned ginger overnight or something, have I? I'm starting to like this hair, very versatile, but you've got that look on your face…"

Rose just smiled.

"I just…" she paused. "I don't think, in all the time that I've known you, I've ever seen you look this happy or carefree."

"I don't know…there was that time….or….." He sighed. "How about…? No, you're probably right."

Rose grinned.

"For once." The Doctor muttered, just loud enough for Rose to hear.

Rose thumped him.

"What was that for?"

"Just being you."

The Doctor grinned. "But you love me really."

"I do."

The Doctor gulped. "Really?"

"Really."

Spontaneously The Doctor stretched up and placed a chaste kiss on her lips before sinking back into the pillow.

"What was that for?"

"Just being you."

* * *

_A/N: Please Review. This is only intended to be a stand-alone i'm not planning a sequel but let me know what you think all the same. Thankyou._


End file.
